APOLOGY

I love you.

I shall never say that again...

Cross my heart.

AN ATHEIST PRAYS

I knew no God;
Love had made you mine.
Then, grant me this:
Let love not touch my heart
Ever again.

WHAT YOU HAVE IS WHAT YOU GOT

Waiting.
Mainly, waiting.
For messages responses calls anything nothing something please?

And worrying.
Is it fine okay unusual strange something bad over?

Feeling anxious,
Helpless,
Agitated,
Insecure,
Miserable.

AHAIM

Consoling myself, rebuking myself, crying myself to sleep.

These are the things that I shall miss from now on.
It feels strange to know
There is not even a hope of being let down tonight.

JUST AN EXPIRED DREAM

Hold me close,
And hold me tight
Whisper how you want
Me

Somewhere it’s all fading,
And you’re too scared to think
Don’t know what to make of it:
What to make of us?

Think about it when
You are slightly more free,
And you’ll know how it’s all over.
Over.
You’re free.

Planet Romeo

"Ah! My mucus past compare
These dewdrops bright I wear
Am I not Prima Insectum?"


Behold how my scales glisten
With hues of the burnished sun
My down so white and fluffy
Like a fruit of the dandelion,
Ripened by the caress of autumn.

Where have you seen
A proboscis more elegant:
Curved like an Ionic volute,
Or a thorax more gracefully formed:
Ribbed as English smocking?

Gaze in to my luminous ommatidia
Graze my tarsus-tibia
Feel me, feed me, fuck me
But first, admit you love me.

(Originally published as Nubile in Kindle, June 2011)

To a young man, distant in space and time

Great days roll along
Great loves die
Only the hope
That you shall remain
Survives
In promises and wishes.

R

It rains tonight
My longing bounces forth
Like droplets off the puddles,
But never reach you,
Nor your dream.

I imagine your soft breath
From an evening of love;
Your eyes, comforting
Like the nest of a bird at sundown,
Remain closed now...
Oblivious of my distant gaze.

If I could visit your dream,
Would you remember in the morning?
May be the brow shall carry
The memory of a kiss.

I love you; no love is ever too far.
All shall be well, as you read this...and forever more. :-)

LAST LOVE

I did what I had to,
You did what you could.

Did we say goodbye that wintry morning?
Memory fails me.
Is it Time's mercy,
Or my usual forgetfulness?
Imploring all my senses
To capture each moment
For eternity,
I had lain awake all autumn.
Yet so little remains,
Except a distant ache.
Now the leaves of summer
Glisten by
A thumping rumbling vector
Hurls me to new destinies.

You did what you had to
I did what I could.

(First two lines courtesy Shreyasi Bose)

DREAM

The storm abated
Moonlight on my bed
Let's make love
Hesitant and soft
A nocturne of Chopin
Peace

Complaint

You have spoilt me for others
O Malady, suggest a cure.

MISSING YOU IN BENGALI

As it ticks and it tocks and it inches along
There will be no my side of the bed or the wardrobe
Somewhere sometime soon you shall no more
Miss me in Bengali or in any other tongue

INSOMNIA 3

I feel you sleeping by my side
A softly heaving silhouette
Of dark against dark
Curled and wrapped in a blanket

I presume the usual frown
Is frosted with sweat beads
The familiar twitch around those lips
travels down your limbs

The heavy breathing needs
an adjustment of the pillows
But sleep on my love
And let us rise to a new morning

S&G&R

A glance used to float
Up a flight of stairs
And vanish round the corner.
Often a smile, a nod.
"I have a photograph.
Preserve your memories
They're all that's left you"

UGLY

Look in the mirror
That is not you
You would never love him
Sour cigarettes and heartburn

Mottled leaves in green bottles
That was home sweet home
Heartthrobs and heart throbs
They shall cut this tree too

Rain, rain, pour

ON LIVING A COMPROMISE

Thirty makes you think
Thirty makes you wise
30 allows fooling yourself knowingly

Confusing love with habit
Cohabiting without love

Thirty turns you moody
Thirty gives you whims
30 gifts you blues: to paint your toenails

In ever-changing hues
Ever-changing ruse

Thirty brands you tired
Thirty says you’re spent
30 gets you sick: throw up on mush

Only to live again
Only to love again

Remains of the day 2

There was music, there was light
Eyes twinkling, smiles bright
A champagne flute lay broken on the floor

Buy cheese, buy squash
The carpet needs a wash
More lists more chores more life

Remains of the day

The gusset plates of lust
Are all rusted, spent
But, unlike love, still real

Now I sleep not too well
With funny scary dreams
Disquieting images of
Bonfires in catacombs

Lady T

She shadows me everywhere

Waiting and watching

Shrewdly whispers in moments

Of weariness: hoping to reap

Her harvest

I laid in her arms once

We were almost one

Anti-peristalsis

Thus I jilted Lady T

But she be patient

The end is soon and she

Would surely bed me in

The END

NO DREAMS FOR AN INSOMNIAC

Because you have no comfort in dreams
Because you see no reason
Because you realise...

The sooner the better.

!

Love knows no reason
And Reason knows not love

Early morning, rumpled bed
Taking stock of life
The dawn of an age of reason...